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maybe no boyfriend is better than one that makes you cry. i think i need a break or something needs to change soon. it's been three years, not three weeks. i don't even see a difference anymore. i'm happy but i'd like to know i'm always in his thoughts and that i'm always important to him. if i knew i was part of his decision making process, i wouldn't care what he did or who he hung out with. but because i need to read facebook to know what's going on, there's a clear problem in that. i feel like i'm an embarrassment to him. the ugly, secret girlfriend. i haven't met any of his friends from school and i doubt they even know about me. he is a huge part of my life and my friends know him even if they never met him. it's frustrating how much room i make for him in my life and how little a part i am in his. xo.