59

topic: your day, in great detail. it's 1 p.m. now. this morning mike and i showered, went to starbucks, had breakfast at his house and then drove him to work. right now i'm at home debating on doing work or editing itunes. guess i'll update later for more.

58

free choice. mmmmmmm got my new phone. in love with the bb bold.

57

favorite youtube video. i fn love mitchell davis.

56

a favorite website. i am obsessed with strikegently. i get all my music from there and it's always great to get leaks weeks in advanced.

55

a recipe. http://chockylit.blogspot.com/2005/10/german-chocolate-cupcakes-with-milk.html

54

day 20, a hobby of yours. it's pretty weird to pick something that isn't photography. i guess i would say baking and cooking. i'm really good at certain things and really great at making desserts. xo.

53

a talent of mine. photography. i miss this place so much. these are all from my senior portfolio and i haven't been back there since then. definitely going to try on friday. i miss david and ariana, they're apparently coming with me. hopefully mike will too. i want as many people there as possible for when we go into the graveyard in the hills. haven't been there in probably 2 years. ahhhh so excited! i HAVE to finish transcribing today. don't care what it takes, i have to. then more wednesday. senior project needs to stop. xo.

"right away, we fell in into each other head first, not even the shallow sign could stop it when our souls hit."-emarosa, "her advice cost us a life."

52

free choice. i got this idea from another blog so my picture today is everything that's inside my purse. i know i carry a lot but it's all necessary. the camera i took this with, my professional Olympus, needs to be used more. i really don't want to always use the camera on my blackberry but it's more convenient. i like the quality of my pro more. i definitely wanna go out to kings park for the bluff, kppc and the graveyard on friday. i'm dying to get new pictures of anything. all weekend, that's all i wanted to do. if i had a car, i could've. ughhh. don't wanna wait 5 days. at least all the interviews i have to transcribe will keep me busy=] xo.

51

a piece of art that has meaning to you. this is a painting done by greg simkins. it was the first piece of his that i fell in love with. it's what i want as a tattoo for my birthday present from whoever. i don't know what i love about it but i guess knowing the rest of what he does makes it beautiful to me. xo.

50

a song that makes you cry. "you had me at hello" by a day to remember. as soon as this song goes on my ipod or in the car i instantly get upset. i know why it does and i really don't wanna explain it but it means a lot to me. it sucks it's this powerful because its one of my favorite songs but i guess that's okay. xo.

I'm missing you so much, I'll see you die tonight
Just so I can get to you before the sun will rise
I know the signs are on and I feel this too
None of that ever seems to matter when I'm holding you

And I'm wasting away, away from you

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to

You had me at hello.

I've never seen a smile that can light the room like yours
It's simply radiant, I feel more with everyday that goes by
I watch the clock so I can make my timing just right

Would it be okay?
Would it be okay if I took your breath away?

And I'm wasting away, away from you.

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello

You gave me butterflies at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

You gave me butterflies (you are so cute)
at the mailbox (you had me at hello)

What have I gotten into this time around
I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to
You had me at hello
You had me at hello

49

i'm supposed to write about a fanfic, whatever that is, and since i don't read any i guess i'll do whatever i want. i wish i had the ability to go somewhere and take pictures. i wish there was a psych hospital or a beach or even a park around here. maybe if i had a car i would explore..no, if i did have a car, i would definitely get out of here more. if i do end up coming home thursday, i'm going out everywhere for photos. hopefully some people will come and it'll actually be fun. hmm..maybe more later, not much to write about. xo.

edit: i want these shoes for my birthday.

48

favorite non-fiction book. i'm going far out with this one being non-fiction but every story in it is true. tucker max did these things and wrote the stories a year ago and i've read this maybe 10 or 12 times. also got maybe 20 people to read it after i did. everyone should buy it, definitely good.

today my first draft of senior project is due and i'm actually ready. i need to pick out pictures and format the writing and then have a meeting at 6:30. kinda excited, kinda nervous=] xo.

47

a fictional book. my favorite fictional book is a series of books. actually, 2 different series. The House of Night books follow a girl who wants to be a vampire and has to go though training for it. it's much better than my crappy summary. read it for yourself. the second series is by scott westerfield. it's about people that are ugly that are chosen to be pretty and they have powers. once you hit a certain age, you're sent to the other community to become pretty. the character doesn't want to be pretty in the end and she tries to take that world down. i must sound like a 14 year old saying i like these books. i'm not good at describing plots or whatever. i swear, it's good writing and entertaining enough to go fast. xo.

46

day 12, free choice. i just love my valentine's day present<3. thank you, baby. i love you so much.

45

a photo taken of you recently. this is my new favorite shirt. john sent it to me for doing all good work for him. thick as blood<3. so today is valentine's day. woke up with mike and had breakfast. now he's at work and i'll pick him up at 6. can't wait to give him his surprise. i made him 24 funfetti cupcakes with fudge icing and chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese icing. also ordered him a thick as blood shirt but the wrong size came so i'll re-order it and it'll be here in 2 weeks=] hope there's somewhat of a surprise tonight for me too. xo.

44

a photo of you taken over 10 years ago. this is easily the cutest picture of me when i was little. it was my first time going to Disney World. i had 2 things i wanted to do. meeting Cinderella and meet Mickey Mouse. obviously got my first choice by having dinner in the castle with Cinderella. the last day in Disney we saw Mickey in some garden with a group of people. i ran away from my parents and went up to him to ask to take a picture with him. his asshole handler guy told me Mickey was too busy for a little kid and pushed me away. i cried and Mickey cursed at his boss and took my hand and we walked down the road. the only way this could have been better is if the castle was in the background. love this so much. xo.

43

a photo you took. beside the picture i took with jeremy, this is my favorite picture i took of him. still can't believe i got a shot like this one. i see him again in 55 days and i really can't wait.

last night i found out i'll have 3 birthday shows this year. a day to remember on april 9 (mentioned it above), the ghost inside on april 3 and NOW vanna announced a show on long island for march 26. the last time i was supposed to see them was when we had the accident and this more than makes up to it. thank you to 3 of my favorite bands for making my birthday amazing. waiting for my mom to get here then seeing sarah tonight! xo.

42

a photo that makes you angry or sad. that was one of the best days i ever had. and then it slowly turned badly after we got back to new york. the only 2 people i talk to in this picture are mike and chris. jenn's a cheating bitch, dan chose drugs, never cared about anthony, marisa and kyle are in their own world. to think that such close friends can just fall apart like that. i hate that you have to choose which friends are yours after a breakup. but clearly, i chose the right friend.

the snow was insane all last night. i don't even want to go outside to walk to the gym or anything. maybe i will, don't know yet. friday is finally tomorrow and i can go home. also about last night, i hate this site called formspring. it thought it would be fun but people just get meaner when they know they're anonymous. someone keeps asking questions about mike and sex stuff and i'm really uncomfortable with it. someone also asked about 8th grade and that really upset me. i'm glad i don't know who these people are because they would get their heads bashed in this weekend. k, off to shower or do some more work. xo.

41

day 7, a photo that makes you happy. this will always be my favorite picture of us. everyone says it belongs on an engagement notice. we took it on my 20th birthday right before going to dinner. it makes me remember when we were really happy in the beginning and reminds me that we can always be this happy together.

it snowed maybe a foot here and it's still snowing. suffolk county has 9 inches and it'll get worse. i don't care, it'll make me get my work done. but i just hope i get home this weekend. i'm really excited to see people and i'm wondering what our valentine's day plans are. and now to transcribe another interview. xo.

40

today the picture can be whatever i want. i guess i'll use this because i would really love it, or something similar as a tattoo soon. all i can say is that this paper will be the death of me, i hate the unbearable people i live with, i wish mike and i had unlimited money so neither of us get disappointed about things and this snow storm better either not happen or if it does, i better be able to get home friday. xo.

39

favorite quote. as you can see from the picture, it's "all happiness or unhappiness solely depends upon the quality of the object to which we are attached by love" said by Baruch Benedict Spinoza. i think it means a lot in my life. the way i deconstructed it is that how the person you love acts determines if you are happy or sad. it's really meaningful because as much as it shouldn't be, if mike gets angry and we have a fight, my world crashes and i get upset. but if he's happy, everything is perfect and good. it's the same thing the other way around. the way we react and act with each other determines how our relationship will be. it's like that for everyone.

mike, nick and alanna came up last night=] it was a really great time. we got dinner at buffalo wild wings and came back to the apartment to hang out. i need nights like this probably every night to keep sane and happy. especially when it means as much to them as it does to me. 4 days and it happens all over again, only better. it was more than difficult to get out of bed this morning. i look at mike sleeping and i just fall in love with him again every morning we wake up together. thank god this is going to happen every morning we live together. i wouldn't ever ask for anything else after i have that. they left at 8 am, got some more sleep then had class. diana said yes to being my second reader and that gave me motivation to start these 25 pages i need done. i got 2 pages done for senior project. it was dani and sari's interview. i think it turned out pretty well for the first of maybe 6 or 7. i'll do more soon, i just really need a break. transcribing the interview then coming up with a frame for it is really hard. i hope the history part and the other parts are easier. xo.

38

favorite book. "the pact" by jodi picoult. its the story of two teenagers who love each other and the girl dies and the boy is found next to her body. after the story goes on for awhile, you learn that the girl is pregnant and she killed herself in a pact with her boyfriend. if i said more than this, you would know the whole book. it's just a really great book that i've read so many times.

today is the jersey shore marathon. it's also the day mike (and nick and alanna apparently) visits. it's basically like christmas. full day planned, my version of gtl. gym, cleaning and getting cute for tonight. xo.

"we will not be torn, our hearts will stand, they will stand as one."-mychildren mybride, "on wings of integrity."

37

favorite tv show. the office. i could watch the office all day, every day. the writing is perfect. pam and jim have the relationship i want to have. they're so cute together. this shot is from the wedding episode on the maid of the mist. also love how they had an alternative wedding because they knew michael would screw it up. hope there's a marathon on soon because this is the one show where i haven't seen every episode from the beginning.

tonight is the benefit for haiti. rumors of grammy performers are going around that they're going to perform tonight. if taylor swift is at my school, i'm going to flip out and die. xo.

"my parents left me at the side of the road. i crawled home. not so weak now, huh mom?"-dwight

36

favorite movie. easily 500 days of summer. its the best story, great actors and characters. but what i love most about this movie is the soundtrack. i mean, you open a movie with Regina Spektor, what do you expect? before this, it was Garden State. in fact, i think i'll watch it while doing work and stuff.

tonight eva, emily and i went to go see "it's complicated." i really liked it. i just didn't think it would be that sexual. while i love meryl streep, it kinda ruined for her me. i'm used to the classic meryl, not her trying to be a teenager. and while i told kyle i like alec baldwin now, i still hate him. he was good in this movie but that's it. xo.

35

favorite song. there's a lot of ways this one can go. most listened to, means the most, best memory when it played. but for a favorite song, it has to involve all those things and more. a favorite song for me make me think of the lyrics first and that i know i can repeat it word for word from beginning to end. the first band i ever really loved was bayside. love as in never miss a show when it's in the tri-state area, go to warped and bamboozle for them, know every single lyric to every song, even know why the songs were written. anthony's words have gotten me through so much in my life. i don't know what i would've done without this band. my favorite bayside song, and all time favorite song is "synonym for acquiesce." the entire album is just amazing. i can still listen to it all the way through not missing a lyric or skipping a song.

"empty fields move me so much more than rooms filled up with friends. the way the trees look dead.i t reminds me that there's more to life than living. and maybe giving up's not bad but part of letting go of you. if i surrender to this feeling maybe all the aches and pains will go and i can close my eyes never again to have them open 'til i bleed out all i've been. i don't want to be alone no more. no more."

34

wish i was one of those girls who knew how to get perfect hair at all times no matter what style i wanted. i will never be one of them. xo.

edit: i hate always saying the same thing on here so actually, catherine posted this thing on her blog. it's different things to write about every day for a month. i think it'll give me time to write about new things and make it easier on myself.

33

today didn't get good until 6:30. i had my first lyric writing class. at first i didn't think it was going to be fun because it's an old guy teaching and what the hell does he know about popular music. in the first 10 minutes, he referenced Radiohead, Drake, Ke$ha and played Bob Dylan. if that doesn't make this a favorite class of mine, i don't know what would. "raindrops on kittens and baby seals dead in mittens." this guy is clearly out of his mind and it's awesome. class ended and i ran back to listen to gunz's show for the first time in months..don't know who's on it tonight but i need a distraction while i attempt senior project work. this project is going to be the death of me. i know i do better on deadline, but this shit is just ridiculous. 10 pages by the 17th and 20 edited pictures? fuck me. guess i better get on that. xo.

32

mike drove me back last night..we drove a half hour to find a sevs somewhere in town up here. interesting adventure haha. i slept so well last night. i'm pretty sure it was because he was there with me but its just something about mornings where you wake up thinking you're late but in fact you have another 2 or 3 hours until you have to be up. woke up first at 6:30 and just listened to him. i know that's creepy but it makes me so relaxed. woke up for real at 10:30, showered and got breakfast at starbucks. worst part of today was when he left..happy that i wasn't allowed to cry since i had to go to class right after he left. i wish it was easier to see him leave. but it just makes me more sure that we're going to be together forever after i'm back on long island and we're probably getting an apartment somewhere. don't know but that would be nice.
i'm really thankful for the days where i don't want to be on campus but yet white plains is right there and i can get out. also thankful that its been 2 months and i had yet to spend all the giftcards i got for christmas. eva and i went to barnes and noble so i could return the dumb book i thought i wanted and i got the right one. looking around that entire store could take me the whole day. and i'm never quite sure what to buy when i have so much money for there. ended up getting the listography book, new issue of Cosmo and a tattoo magazine. however, the best thing i bought was what today's picture is. eva was like "that looks like that picture you have in your room." it's an art magazine and this month's profile is greg simkins. could not believe this. there's a spread inside of original artwork and a new interview with him. that's maybe the coolest thing i've bought so far this year. then we went to hot topic. i'm always nervous when we go into this specific one because this guy works there who always hitting on me and obviously has a thing for me. i'm way too nice to be like "oh hey, fuck off" to someone that is really nice. but then again, i don't need to stand around for a half hour talking about whatever. left there, walked around for awhile and went to macy's and got this beautifulllllllllllllllll Guess necklace. maybe i'll wear it tomorrow and use that as a picture=] gotta finish journalism homework and maybe do some senior project. love you baby, miss you<3 xo.