hope

I want to be the girl you’re scared to lose, the girl you can’t stop bragging about to all your family and friends, the first thought on your mind every morning, the reason why you can’t fall asleep because your mind is filled with thoughts of her, the reason why you lose sleep every night, the girl who you keep your eye out for 24/7, the girl that will make your heart pound when you see her and hear her voice, the girl that will give you butterflies in your tummy, the girl who you hold so delicately in your arms, the girl you put your hands around, the girl you can’t live without, the girl you’re willing to die for, the one and only girl you’ll ever love, the one where you’ll be like, ” yep, that’s my girl. “

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40 months. 1200 days. with this kid<3 mmmf

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<3

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the show at sinclair's got shut down and then moved to jon king's house. HIS HOUSE IS FUCKING AMAZING. so..that's kevin pushing romper down the hill in a zorb.

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from bliss to devastation's last show=[

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cloud looking like a feather..thought of britny and her tattoo<3

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dylan and amanda<3 bww thursdays.

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the sky looks a lot darker in person but it was scary all day today.

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saw bane, trapped under ice, alpha & omega and cruel hand last night. ill.

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sky was on fire at tanger.

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mike gives guadalupe fucks.

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got a new sketchbook today=]

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1 person that i can trust.

1. michael<3

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2 things i won't say

1 "i give up"
2 the c word

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4 words you can't use for a day

1 i
2 love
3 you

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4 memories i won't forget

1 while i'm only left with two friends from it, cedar point was, so far, the greatest vacation and most fun time i've ever had
2 every time we take a trip to a show out of state
3 meeting mike
4 every time i meet new bands because after that, they'll always be my friends and in my life

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5 things i can't live without

1 michael
2 my blackberry
3 friends
4 money
5 happiness

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six songs that you're addicted to.

1
2
3
4
5
6

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7 ways to win your heart.

1 be funny

2 have a beard

3 really show me you can be trusted

4 don't cheat

5 be good to your friends

6 know how to cook

7 like bad sci-fi channel movies

(so its pretty much everything i already have and everything i could ever want<3)>

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eight friends that you love

1 chris
2 amanda
3 matt
4 britny
5 brittany
6 arianna
7 zach
8 catherine

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9 guilts that you want to share

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

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day 1. 10 things about yourself.

1 shows and music are my life.
2 i love photography
3 my favorite band is vanna
4 i have 6 tattoos
5 i keep wanting blonder hair, it'll eventually turn platinum
6 wish you didn't hold me back the way you do because i'm so much better than this
7 i love bad sci-fi channel movies
8 i'm really afraid of heights and the ocean
9 i graduated college with great grades and have nothing to show for it now
10 i wish i were better to the people i love

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day 30. your favorite song at this time last year.
"hopeless" by for the fallen dreams.

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day 29. a song from your childhood.
"you+me=us" by 2ge+her

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this is the blonde that i'm dying my hair on saturday=]

day 28. a song that makes you feel guilty.
don't really have one, i'll think about it.

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day 27. a song you wish you could play.
"you had me at hello" by a day to remember.

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day 26. a song that you can play on instrument.
i can't play anything on anything but i wish i could learn.

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day 25. a song that makes you laugh.
"shots" by lmfao.

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taylor's wedding day!
day 24. a song that you want to be played at your funeral.
"ever so sweet" by the early november.

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two favorite pictures from catherine's sweet 16.
day 23. a song that you want to be played at your wedding.
"safe and sound in phone lines" by a change of pace.

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day 22. a song you listen to when you're sad.
"montauk (acoustic)" by bayside.

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day 21. a song you listen to when you're happy.
"kiss and tell" by ke$ha.

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day 20. a song you listen to when you're angry.
"ambitions of man" by from the pawn.

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day 18. a song that you wish you heard on the radio.
i like that none of the music i listen to and love is on the radio, so let's keep it that way.

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day 17. a song you often hear on the radio.
"teenage dream" by katy perry

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day 16. a song you used to love but now hate.
"forever young" by academy is.

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day 15. a song that describes you.
"intersection" by motion city soundtrack.

Intersection
Happened years ago
From the headaches
From the cold
From the endings of the words you knew
To the lungs that learned to breathe

Forget the lessons
Don't paint by numbers
Paint in stains
Contact intenser fade to shades of grey
Back from tomorrow, from today

Seven leaves
From seven trees
Is seventeen
Only seven days

Don't paint by numbers
Paint in lines by colors
Don't face the mirror, catch the cold
For today I should have followed suit
For tomorrow never comes

Forfeit the lessons
Intersection
Forfeit the lessons
Intersection
Forfeit the lessons
Intersection

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day 14. a song that no one would expect you to like.
"outgunned" by the banner

been thinking a lot and maybe i should just write it out..

i know that it's been over two years since we've actually talked but i really miss when we were friends. you were the one girl i knew that i could tell anything to. i never compared myself to you, we were equals. don't know if i'll be friends with another girl like that ever. i wish i could just message you or text you and tell you this. but i know you'd just laugh at it and think its bullshit. what you did to my best friend was the worst thing anyone could ever do and you changed after that but i wish we both made more of an effort to get close again. based on how things are now with everyone, it would've been worth it. i found out you're leaving to go away to school soon and i hope you do well..you need to get away from your job, you deserve better than it.
x
i try so hard to be your friend. you just think it's a joke. start treating people who love you with more respect, maybe you wouldn't get an attitude filled response next time you want something. despite the timing of it, i meant everything i said the other night and you probably showed your friends and had a great time making fun of it and called me pathetic. all i want is to be nice to you and be able to have what your best friends have with you.
x
you're cute and i hate that i think that. come home, dude.

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day 13. a song that is a guilty pleasure.
"backstabber" by ke$ha. loves it.

saw The Banner, Suburban Scum, Xibalba and Ringworm tonight. good show, no people and it went really quick.

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day 12. a song from a band you hate.
"here goes nothin" by nevershoutnever!

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day 11. a song from your favorite band.
"free" by valencia. on repeat all day today.

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what you see at sevs at 2am..

day 10. a song that makes you fall asleep.
"beauty in the breakdown" by the scene aesthetic.

edit: i haven't been trying to think of this because it really hurts but maybe it'll make me feel better. fuck you for leaving without saying goodbye. 9 years. NINE FUCKING YEARS. and you just up and leave. is that what you think of me? of us and our friendship? maybe you're scared to actually talk to me because you know this will be unloaded onto you. i'm not that mad you left, you knew i only wanted the best for you and have happiness and get somewhere better in life. but you should have the balls to say something. for as long as you're gone, i don't even know if i'll talk to you or visit you or anything. and that's really sad. hopefully it changes soon.